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Posts Tagged ‘love’

How to keep your woman happy…

17 Nov

I often run into to people who are not happy in their relationships… some are men but most are women… Could this be because we have different ways of evaluating what a ’good’ relationship is…
Yes, I think so…

I believe that there are some things that we can keep in mind, and if properly applied it will not only lead to a good relationship… but a great one… However it has taken me almost 50 years to figure this out… and believe me, I started early… One could argue that since I am currently single, I apparently have not succeed fully in applying these learnings… but had I known then what I know now, my current situation would probably be different… Yet here I am, humble but firm in my views and on my own road to success… I will get there… ; )

To be fair, being single also comes with its own set of benefits… that should not to be underestimated… but it is of course the committed relationship built on love, respect, trust and understanding – that most of us are looking for in the end… So how to keep your woman happy then…? Well, I have found that looking back at past relationships there are some commonalities that have always worked well, regardless of how the relationships have ended… For me, it all boils down to 6 simple (in theory of course) steps:

  1. Who are you and why are you here?
    Make sure that you are open with who you are, what you stand for and that you are in the  relationship for the right reasons… that there really is love and a sense of belonging to together that is genuin… This will is the foundation of the relationship and you can never ignore or disguise this as time goes by… It will be the ’fuel’ that will keep the relationship moving forward… and the ’glue’ that will keep things together and take you through the ’storms’ that you will inevitably encounter together… If you are indeed not in the relationship for the right reasons, then end it fast, as it it better to make the suffering short than to prolong the pain… The truth will always reveal itself… que, next point…
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  2. Be honest
    Oh yes, the truth will always reveal itself… so better to be honest from the start… tell it like it is and stand up for who you are… I find that simply telling the truth can often result in more respect and understanding in the relationship… a sense of forgiveness and increased closeness… whereas telling lies both creates strange energies, has you struggling with trying to keep your stories straight… and most importantly, if your lies are found out – it can have damaging effects on your relationship… Believe me, I have found this out the hard way… ; )
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  3. Value the friendship
    I find that this part is often very underestimated… as I truly believe that a good friendship is a key part of any successful relationship… This has been confirmed over and over again when talking to couples that have been together for a long time (as well as number 1 in this list)… With good friends you have fun, talked openly, act naturally, do things together and respect each other – so why not be able to do this with your own partner…?
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  4. Choose your wars
    For every ’win’ you gain in an argument or a dispute… there is always a price to pay… and quite often it can cause damage that can be hard to repair over time… especially if it is a repeated pattern in the relationship… You should choose your wars very carefully and consider the potentially negative effects that ’being right’ might have… and also challenge yourself on why it actually is so important for you to be right… I have found that most often it has more to do with our own insecurities and big egos than anything else… NOTE: It is of course also about how you say things… you can be in the right, express it with honesty and respect – and be perfectly fine… ; )
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  5. Make her feel like a woman
    Get her in the mood… find out what gets her going… what excites her and makes her curious… what does and doesn’t turn her on… Make her feel like a woman… from her perspective – not yours… Never take here for granted and always make her feel safe, loved and special in your presence… And no, it is not as simple as just asking to get all the answers… since many women will find this to be too much of an ’easy win’… You actually need to find out… you need to work for it… This is done by being alert and sensitized to what she says and does… her reactions will often tell you what you need to know… you just need to listen to her… and yes, be able to ’read between the lines… que, next point…
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  6. Listen to her
    Communication… now this is truly a tricky one… as men and women really do have a different vocabulary system… where the things that are said actually can mean completely different things… What we men often fail to see is that being silent and just listening is a very powerful form of communication… often much appreciated by women, at least in certain situations… Listen and observe… pay attention to the details, especially they are expressed frequently… what it really means… not just what you think it means…An example of when it is a really good idea to listen more than talk – is when she is telling you about how she feels and why… This is part of an important process… do not interupt or disturb the flow… and most of all – do not come with solutions… as this will most likely backfire… When she wants a solution, she will ask you for it… It is all about being heard, feeling respected and supported… It will most often be very appreciated and I have seen amazing things happen as a result of just going with the flow… with some very nice benefits as a result… ; )
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So, for those of you who can tick all of the above boxes – congratulations… then you are part of a very fortunate minority and I commend you for your excellent work… and I’m sure you would agree that it is all quite simple in theory… but not always so easy in practice…

However, no matter how hard it may seem – the rest of us should never stop trying… for we all need as much love and happiness as we can get… ; )

 

Nätdejting…

01 Apr

Ett av de bästa sätten att ragga eller träffa nya människor är på Internet… Nätdejting är ett utmärkt sätt att träffa en partner… Även kulturellt passar internetdejting oss svenskar bra, eftersom vi ju inte är berömda för alltid att vara så utåtriktade… Nätet är då det perfekta sättet att lära känna varandra…

 

online-dejting-03Chat i kombination med en webbkamera är det bästa sättet att få en uppfattning om folk du träffat på nätet… vanlig telefon funkar ju också… men trots att telefonen anses vara det populäraste alternativet är det nödvändigtvis inte är det bästa… Det betyder mycket att höra någons röst – hur de låter, hur de pratar, hur de skämtar, osv…

 

Men med chatprogram i kombination med en webbkamera kan man å andra sidan prata med varandra precis som i telefon, samtidigt som man kan se varandra… Det är ett oslagbart sätt att bilda sig en uppfattning om den andra personen, innan man träffas i verkligheten…

Ja, det var ju över nätet jag träffade mitt livs stora kärlek – så visst funkar det…  ; )