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Posts Tagged ‘relationship’

How to keep your woman happy…

17 Nov

I often run into to people who are not happy in their relationships… some are men but most are women… Could this be because we have different ways of evaluating what a ’good’ relationship is…
Yes, I think so…

I believe that there are some things that we can keep in mind, and if properly applied it will not only lead to a good relationship… but a great one… However it has taken me almost 50 years to figure this out… and believe me, I started early… One could argue that since I am currently single, I apparently have not succeed fully in applying these learnings… but had I known then what I know now, my current situation would probably be different… Yet here I am, humble but firm in my views and on my own road to success… I will get there… ; )

To be fair, being single also comes with its own set of benefits… that should not to be underestimated… but it is of course the committed relationship built on love, respect, trust and understanding – that most of us are looking for in the end… So how to keep your woman happy then…? Well, I have found that looking back at past relationships there are some commonalities that have always worked well, regardless of how the relationships have ended… For me, it all boils down to 6 simple (in theory of course) steps:

  1. Who are you and why are you here?
    Make sure that you are open with who you are, what you stand for and that you are in the  relationship for the right reasons… that there really is love and a sense of belonging to together that is genuin… This will is the foundation of the relationship and you can never ignore or disguise this as time goes by… It will be the ’fuel’ that will keep the relationship moving forward… and the ’glue’ that will keep things together and take you through the ’storms’ that you will inevitably encounter together… If you are indeed not in the relationship for the right reasons, then end it fast, as it it better to make the suffering short than to prolong the pain… The truth will always reveal itself… que, next point…
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  2. Be honest
    Oh yes, the truth will always reveal itself… so better to be honest from the start… tell it like it is and stand up for who you are… I find that simply telling the truth can often result in more respect and understanding in the relationship… a sense of forgiveness and increased closeness… whereas telling lies both creates strange energies, has you struggling with trying to keep your stories straight… and most importantly, if your lies are found out – it can have damaging effects on your relationship… Believe me, I have found this out the hard way… ; )
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  3. Value the friendship
    I find that this part is often very underestimated… as I truly believe that a good friendship is a key part of any successful relationship… This has been confirmed over and over again when talking to couples that have been together for a long time (as well as number 1 in this list)… With good friends you have fun, talked openly, act naturally, do things together and respect each other – so why not be able to do this with your own partner…?
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  4. Choose your wars
    For every ’win’ you gain in an argument or a dispute… there is always a price to pay… and quite often it can cause damage that can be hard to repair over time… especially if it is a repeated pattern in the relationship… You should choose your wars very carefully and consider the potentially negative effects that ’being right’ might have… and also challenge yourself on why it actually is so important for you to be right… I have found that most often it has more to do with our own insecurities and big egos than anything else… NOTE: It is of course also about how you say things… you can be in the right, express it with honesty and respect – and be perfectly fine… ; )
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  5. Make her feel like a woman
    Get her in the mood… find out what gets her going… what excites her and makes her curious… what does and doesn’t turn her on… Make her feel like a woman… from her perspective – not yours… Never take here for granted and always make her feel safe, loved and special in your presence… And no, it is not as simple as just asking to get all the answers… since many women will find this to be too much of an ’easy win’… You actually need to find out… you need to work for it… This is done by being alert and sensitized to what she says and does… her reactions will often tell you what you need to know… you just need to listen to her… and yes, be able to ’read between the lines… que, next point…
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  6. Listen to her
    Communication… now this is truly a tricky one… as men and women really do have a different vocabulary system… where the things that are said actually can mean completely different things… What we men often fail to see is that being silent and just listening is a very powerful form of communication… often much appreciated by women, at least in certain situations… Listen and observe… pay attention to the details, especially they are expressed frequently… what it really means… not just what you think it means…An example of when it is a really good idea to listen more than talk – is when she is telling you about how she feels and why… This is part of an important process… do not interupt or disturb the flow… and most of all – do not come with solutions… as this will most likely backfire… When she wants a solution, she will ask you for it… It is all about being heard, feeling respected and supported… It will most often be very appreciated and I have seen amazing things happen as a result of just going with the flow… with some very nice benefits as a result… ; )
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So, for those of you who can tick all of the above boxes – congratulations… then you are part of a very fortunate minority and I commend you for your excellent work… and I’m sure you would agree that it is all quite simple in theory… but not always so easy in practice…

However, no matter how hard it may seem – the rest of us should never stop trying… for we all need as much love and happiness as we can get… ; )

 

Understanding women: Part 4…

26 Jul

Ever wonder what a woman’s ideal characteristics for a man are… yeah, me too…

1. It’s important to find a man that helps out with the household work, who cooks and cleans.

2. It’s important to find a man who can make you laugh.

3. It’s important to find a man who has a good job.

4. It’s important to find a man who you can trust and who doesn’t lie.

5. It’s important to find a man who loves to cuddle with you.

…and most of all, it’s important that these five men don’t know each other… ; )

Love and respect… ; )

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The Man rules: Part 4…

26 Jul

 Know any guys who fit the bill…?

  1. Never join your girlfriend in ragging on a buddy of yours, unless she is withholding sex, pending your response.
     
  2. Women who claim they ”love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean.
     
  3. Any dispute lasting any longer than 3 minutes will and must be settled by rock, paper, scissors.
    There is no argument too important for this determining method.
     
  4. You have not made any mistake if you find that there are extra pieces after assembling an object.
    In fact, you have just found a way to make that object more efficient.
     
  5. Phrases that should preferably not be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
    ”Yeah baby, push it!”
    ”Come on, give me one more, harder!”
    ”Another set and we can hit the showers!”
     
  6. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch nearby, hang up if necessary.
     

Ouch… ; )
 
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Understanding women: Part 3…

25 Jul

Whatever you give a woman, she will multiply it…
Could be good to keep in mind guys…

1. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby.

2. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home.

3. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal.

4. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart.

A woman multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So – if you give her any crap, she’ll give a ton of shit… ; )

Love and respect… ; )

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The Man rules: Part 3…

25 Jul

Some more dude rules… more or less applicable…

  1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway – it’s genetic.
     
  2. The maximum amount of time a woman should have to wait for a man is 5 minutes. For a woman, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
     
  3. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it – just do it yourself.
     
  4. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not because we don’t care about you.
     
  5. If we ask what is wrong and you say ”nothing”, we will act like nothing’s wrong.
    We know you’re lying, but it’s just not worth the hassle.
     
  6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told to your friends by 50%. Beyond that anyone is allowed to yell out ”bullshit!”. (exception: when trying to pick up a woman, the allowable exaggeration rate is then 400%).
     

He, he, he… guilty to some of these I’m afraid… ; )

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Understanding women: Part 2…

24 Jul

I never understood why women love cats…

1. Cats are independent.

2. They don’t listen.

3. They don’t come in when you call them.

4. They like to stay out all night.

5. When they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep.

In other words, every quality that women hate in a man,
they love in a cat… ; )

Love and respect… ; )

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The Man rules: Part 2…

24 Jul

A bit of fun with some real ‘dude’ rules…

  1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
     
  2. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. Please see a doctor.
     
  3. Check the oil in the car! Please.
      
  4. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
      
  5. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
       
  6. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

 
Ha, ha, ha… well dude, you can now remove the pack of socks from your underwear… ; )

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Understanding women: Part 1…

23 Jul

Ever wonder why there are so many misunderstandings between men and women…?

Well, for one thing we have different vocabularies… some words and the way we say them – simply mean different things to us… Here are a few examples:

1. FINE
This is the word a woman will use to end an argument when she knows she’s RIGHT and YOU need to SHUT UP.

2. NOTHING
Means SOMETHING and you need to be WORRIED.

3. GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission – do NOT do it.

4. WHATEVER
Is a woman’s way of saying SCREW YOU.

5. THAT’S OK
She’s thinking long and hard about HOW & WHEN you will pay for your mistake.

Aha, well that sure makes things a lot clearer…

Love and respect… ; )

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The Man rules: Part 1…

23 Jul

Yes, there are some  fundamental differences between men and women… which is not neccessarily a bad thing… just different… See if you recognize any of these…

  1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
     
  2. YES and NO are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
     
  3. When we have to go somewhere, anything you want to wear is fine. Really.
     
  4. Crying is blackmail.
     
  5. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work – Just say it…!
     
  6. We don’t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar.
    Remind us frequently beforehand.
     

Ha, ha, ha… well, I can sure relate to some of these…
Big time… ; )

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